EDITOR’S NOTE: Every Tuesday, noted Tourette Syndrome advocate Troye Evers shares his “52 Weeks of TS” blog journal with the TSParentsOnline community. In cased you missed the first 17 weeks, you can read them here. For more information about Troye, please click on his name or visit his website.
This was an intensely emotional week — a week of ups and downs. I started my week off receiving the horrible news that a close friend lost his internal battle with depression and took his life. A very happily seeming person, gone. I am finding it very difficult to write about this now without crying.
Besides spending all week very upset and dealing with the stages of death, I have also been trying to figure out if and how I was going to discuss this in the blog. I came to the conclusion that I was going to discuss it because it was a big part of my week. This situation brought on a roller-coaster of emotions, which then did trigger many of my tics. The stress was quite overwhelming and really exacerbated my neck and shoulder tics causing me pain all week.
Besides dealing with the death of a friend, I also had to do hair for a show with my husband’s school. Working on these shows also adds for a stressful week, but In addition to the mixed emotions I already had, I was quite excited for this show. It was the last show of the school year, which will free up a lot of my time now that it is over. I do five shows a year with the school, and each show is a hard experience for me.
I had an alright experience in high school, but dealt with a lot of difficulty because of my TS. There was constant teasing and mocking, which did not allow for the perfect high school experience. Every time I do one of these shows, I feel like I’m flashing back to my own high school days. I still suppress my tics from the kids, and often find myself hiding the fact that I have TS.
Children are cruel and I saw that this week. I also get self-conscious around the parents of all the kids. I still suppress my tics, and worry that the parents will see me tic. What would they think if they knew someone with TS was working with their children? Would they think that I’m sitting back stage screaming out profanities? We all know it’s true. Some might understand, but a majority would go to the media stereotype.
I’m only one person, and I can’t educate everyone, but I was able to conquer my fears and help someone out.