When you find out you’re pregnant, you are the best parent you will ever be. Everything you do will be perfect, your child will be well behaved with good manners, an excellent student, an athlete, president of the student council, or join every club you did.
The first time I felt Jacob kick I knew that was my little soccer star. As I planned out his childhood while pregnant, he continued kicking and pushing on me. The first time the doctor put him on my chest, I felt fear like I have never known. How do I keep this baby alive, much less turn him into the soccer star I imagined?!
Today, I got mad at Jacob for repeatedly telling me the same story I told him last week. He always repeats my stories back to me several days or weeks later. I used to think he was searching for validation or something like that. Now I know he just can’t help but do it, no matter how many times I tell him to stop.
I have to remember to breathe, tell him it’s OK, but no, it’s really not a good time to rehash my latest story. I close my eyes and remember the first time I saw him in the delivery room, how perfect he was, and how everything changed for me. Little did I know that he would eventually change me in ways I could never have imagined.
His first year was a blur. He was so busy, always moving, laughing, kicking, wiggling, and entertaining us with his silly ways. He was adorable and sweet but BUSY. He has never been still. He eats well and always has. He was spirited as a toddler. We did the terrible two’s for two years with him. When he was almost 3, we had our second son.
Jacob was loving with him after getting over a bit of jealousy. But it took another year for his behavior to improve. He wouldn’t sit still for story time and hated being read to. He wanted to be up and playing. He wouldn’t stop to color. He slept pretty well but that wasn’t surprising because he was always going when he was awake.
Around the age of 4, I started noticing things — little oddities here and there that I couldn’t put together. There was just something different about him that I couldn’t put my finger on. Continue reading