The real query is: Are you good enough?

Last Sunday I had a talk with a friend of mine who was asking about my book. Specifically, she wanted to know why I wasn’t jumping out of bed every day and sending my query to all the best agents in town.

For those of you who aren’t writers, queries are one page summaries of your story. It’s your show piece that not only shows your voice, but shows your platform. What else have you written? How many followers do you have? Why are YOU the ONLY person to write this book?

Honestly, the above paragraph makes me want to tear my eyes out. It’s exhausting to even describe a query, let alone write it.

While I found my friend’s utter aplomb at my lack of query writing to be flattering, I also found it highly annoying. After all, does she have any idea what my year has looked like? Well, of COURSE she does. I’ve been telling her about it in excruciating detail day after day. I could complain (and I did — quite vociferously) about how “I’m only human! I only have so much time in a day! I can’t work and take care of kids and dogs and renters and husbands AND get a query done FOR DUCK SAKE!”

And while this is very true, I had to come to terms with a stronger truth inside of me. The truth was not that I didn’t think my book was good enough. The truth was that I was afraid that other people — big people — the agents and decision makers – wouldn’t think my book was good enough.

And to get even more real, I had subconsciously been living with a more tragic tape running through my brain: “They won’t find it brilliant because they won’t even take the time to read it.”

I pretty much said that out loud to her. “I don’t really think anyone is going to read it. What’s the point?”

She looked at me, hard. She had pity in her eyes and she didn’t hide it. “That’s sad,” was all she could muster.

Five days later, I have a ton more insight as to how that tape got into my stupid brain. I’ll share it with you in my next post. I will do so less to be a narcissist and more to get you thinking about the messed up script you’ve been reading for far too long.

But first, I share with you this.

One big agent.

One strong, juicy, hairy query.

wendy sherman

 

Two more followed.

Have I heard anything? Not a darn thing. But do I care? No way. I am so proud of myself for trying all the anxiety and panic is lifted. I am starting fresh. Heck, yes.

Ways to Support a Friend with Tourette, Part 1: Don’t try to fix them

Tourette Syndrome is a two-sided coin. One side is that of the individual with the disorder, the point of view from which he sees the world. Then there’s the other side, the perspective of all those who are close to that individual.

Tourette can be an awkward thing to talk about. It’s gotten easier for me as the years go by, but when I was younger, it was the last thing I wanted to admit to myself, let alone other people. And yet, sometimes it’s just the elephant in the room, something you can’t just ignore. As a friend, it’s important to know how to address your friend’s Tourette delicately and honestly. It can strengthen your friendship, and it can build your friend like little else can.

Here is the first of 6 ways to love on your friends with the neurological disorder, Tourette Syndrome (TS), as told by someoneone with Tourette:

6Waystosupportyourfriendwithts

If You’re Close to Someone with Tourette… Continue reading

Tourette, OCD, ADHD, Autism … Show your support with rubber bracelets!

We are very proud to announce that Conditional Publications has now launched its very own awareness-raising rubber bracelets campaign. Please visit our shop for more details. All orders will receive a FREE Conditional Publications bookmark to keep your place while you’re reading Check Mates: OCD Fiction, Poetry & Artwork or any of our upcoming titles.

Be sure to read our past blog posts on Tourette and much more, too!

Questions about ignorance in the workplace

The following questions and comments were recently posted by a parent to the Facebook wall of the NJ Center for Tourette Syndrome & Associated Disorders (NJCTS).

Has anyone here ever felt it difficult explaining to co-workers the difficulties of having Tourette and the emotional/physical backlash that comes along with it? Has anyone ever had a co-worker who was completely ignorant and insensitive to the plight of someone with Tourette? Has anyone here ever felt completely mentally exhausted from constantly having to explain the social behavior of someone with Tourette?

I know I have. I have experienced all of this. Part of me wants to let it go … yet the other part feels a great injustice has occurred at my job. :(

52 Weeks of TS: Week 19

EDITOR’S NOTE: Every Tuesday, noted Tourette Syndrome advocate Troye Evers shares his “52 Weeks of TS” blog journal with the TSParentsOnline community. In cased you missed the first 18 weeks, you can read them here. For more information about Troye, please click on his name or visit his website.

Where is the breaking point? How far do I have to go to educate people before the ignorance stops? Yes, ignorance. This week I have come face to face with the ugly monster of ignorance. I’m really just shocked by peoples’ mentality. As I have discussed before, for the most part, I take a cab home at night because of the crowdedness of the subway during the pm rush hour traffic. The pm hours are difficult because of the endless day of suppressing my tics.

If I was to take a subway home that would mean one more hour of trying to suppress and, truthfully, I just can’t do it. I work down town four days a week and I get out of work around 7 pm. I might go have a drink with a co-worker, otherwise I get in a cab and head home. It’s about a twenty minute cab ride home, and there is a little comfortability to release some of my tics. I don’t fully let go, but release some.

Thursday night I did go and get a drink with a co-worker, and got in my cab home. I might have had a little buzz, but was pretty level-headed. It was a normal entry into the cab and we started on the way home. Within about two minutes, I noticed him staring at me through his rear view mirror. I politely asked him, “What’s wrong?”

I was doing my normal neck and arm tics to a point, but was not even at an extreme yet, so with the strange look I was receiving I was confused. He shook his head no, as if the was nothing wrong. We continued driving and I dealt with some emails on my phone. A few minutes later the driver asked me, “Is everything alright with you?”

It was at this point I knew he was talking about my tics, and I said, “Yes, just to let you know, I have Tourette Syndrome, just ignore my tics.” I smiled and went back to my phone. Even with the smile I felt outted. I like to think I have my special ways of hiding but releasing my tics. I was just shocked to have it actually brought to my attention. If you notice it, do you really think I don’t? I called my husband to tell him I was on my way home and what just happened. I was somewhat devastated so had to just get it off my chest, he told me to relax, and he’d see me soon.

Within minutes, along the FDR highway, we were being pulled over. Let me tell you New Yorkers a little secret: Taxi’s have an emergency S.O.S. light that they turn on that signals the police that they are in trouble or danger. The officers approached my door and asked me to step out and to the back of the car. While one is asking for my ID, the other is talking to the driver.

Besides showing my ID, I also showed my TS medical card and explained that I think that’s why this incident has occurred. (Really? How is my head shaking a danger to you?) The police officers were quite shocked and supportive. After trying to explain to the driver what the situation was and telling him he had to continue to take me home, the driver argued explaining that he didn’t feel comfortable and didn’t know what drugs I was on.

I also explained, that I was not comfortable continuing the ride with him. Long story short, I ended up being taken home by the kind police officers. I’m 38 years old and this was my first time in the back of a cop car, but not for a bad reason.

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