Different Sides of TS

Having Tourettes for 15 years, I thought I knew everything about them. Or, at least everything about mine, but every once in a while I learn something new.

I have learned a lot about myself during this time. I have my normal everyday tics and noises that consist of hitting my sides, tightening every muscle in my body, as well as squeaks and grunts. I know that when I’m really happy or excited my tics are exemplified. My squeaks get louder and I have a full body tic where I’m smiling. When I’m mad or really upset I usually grunt and have a full body tic. I know I have my tics that only happen when I’m in the car, where I very quickly hit the gas with my foot revving the engine, or I ever so slightly turn the wheel quickly in one direction and then place it back going straight. I know whenever somethings on my head, such as sunglasses or a beanie, I usually have a head tic where I throw my head back. Along with that I have learned that too many sugary foods such as simple carbs (they turn into sugar in your body), sweets, and fruits make them worse. I’ve learned that when my tics are really bad and I have a lot of excess energy running or heavy duty exercising can help reduce them. I know if I do not take my medication at the same time everyday, or if I miss a couple of pills that my tics will get worse. I recover faster from too many sugary foods than missing my medication. There are waxing and waining period for Tourettes, and in the spring they usually get worse.

This is the majority of what I’ve learned, but what others notice and do can take me by surprise. When I have a lot of little tics and I don’t realize them, sometimes someone will let me know and I’ll be stunned thinking, “I thought I hadn’t been ticing at all.” When I get distracted and stop ticing all together because, in a sense, I have “forgotten” I had tourettes, I am surprised when someone brings it up because I didn’t realize I hadn’t ticed in X amount of time. I’ve found out when I become close to people, they normally don’t even realize I’m ticking anymore because they get used to is, which is nice for me to know. But my favorite was when my best friend asked me what I was concentrating on over the phone, and when I asked how’d she knew, she told me I have different tics when I’m concentrating, which I never knew.

Through trials and tribulations I have learned a lot about myself. I am consistently growing and trying to find more out about TS, and about my form of TS. It is just nice to know I’m not the only one discovering new things :)

It Has Been A While

Hello there!
I had been a blogger on here a while ago. Sadly, time had gotten away from me because of college and my studies, but I have more time on my hands so I wanted to get back into this!

I believe when I had started blogging I was either a senior in high school or a freshman in college. A lot has changed since then. I am currently a super senior in college. I have one final class this semester before graduating in December. College has been a lot of fun, and I truly feel that throughout this experience I have found myself. I know what I want to strive for to better myself and continue on my path of becoming the best me possible, and I believe I have matured into a woman who is a lot different then who I used to be (which I am very happy about). In high school I was very insecure. I looked to my peers on how to act, what was cool, and who I thought I wanted to be. I wanted to fit in, and honestly, who doesn’t? But high school was hard, I was only 18 when I graduated. Now being 22, almost 23, I realize how much I didn’t know about myself. I used to define myself only as the girl who has Tourette Syndrome. That was honestly all I thought people saw me for, but I was wrong. After some therapy and work, I was able to see that my TS was not who I was, it was only a small portion. I am a lovely, smart, funny, and charismatic woman who loves learning and being silly! Those are just a few words that I would sue to describe me. Now, I do not see my tourettes as a burden, but something that has made me stronger, something that I wouldn’t want to change. Instead of being ashamed of my tics, I have grown to continually learn more about them and myself and laugh with it. When I have a really excited tic, or when I’m really happy I usually tic and then giggle and smile. My friends know how I’m feeling without me having to tell them because of it. They know my happy tics from my mad tics, and my concentrating tics from my everyday tics. It has made me me, and now when people describe me and they say you know, the blonde girl who has tourettes? I’m not ashamed or mad, I’m happy about it. It makes me stick out, in my opinion, in a good way.

Granted, having TS can still be challenging. I still get some mean glares, or people making fun of it behind me back, but they don’t matter to me. If they knew me as a person and if they can’t put two and two together realizing that if I’m continuously twitching I’m not doing it on purpose, then I don’t care about them. They’re not important enough for me to spend time on. I’ll get this in passing sometimes, but it’s okay. I try to advocate as much as possible, but sometimes you can’t get to everyone. And honestly, I love advocating about it. I love when people come up to me and ask if I’m okay, even if it’s in passing. It makes me so happy because it shows me they’re concerned and care. I love educating and allowing someone to see if firsthand, so maybe the next time they see someone who has similar signs they’ll know and possibly be able to help or make the connection that this person has TS. Even if they can’t remember the name, they’ll think, oh hey wait I was that girl who had something similar to this, this person is okay.

I am happy there is more awareness and recognition for TS. I remember in 3rd grade when I was advocating for it in class, no one knew about it. In those years, times truly have changed. Almost always now whenever I tell someone I have tourettes and ask if they know what it is, they say yes. I still sometimes get ones who don’t know, but I love telling them and helping them understand its involuntary, just like a sneeze. I feel like educating others on it is so important, just like any other disability, or as I would prefer to call it, a little something extra.

Anyways, this post is already way too long. But it feels good to be back. I will be writing again soon, and I hope that if you guys ever have any comments, need help, or even advice, you’d leave a note. I love helping others, especially on this subject.

I hope you all have a wonderful day and I’ll talk to you soon!

2015 NJCTS Youth Scholarship Award Essay: “The Things That Make Me Tic (Pun Intended)”

This is the essay I submitted to the NJ Center for Tourette Syndrome & Associated Disorders (NJCTS) for their 2015 Children’s Scholarship Award contest. I hope you enjoy it!



It is about 11:45 on a Wednesday morning, My friends and I are leaving Panera, where we just had lunch. As we are on our way out, my head jerks against my shoulder, and returns to its normal spot. This is common for me. It is just another one of my tics, But, as I look up, I see a man staring at me. His eyes are wide, and he makes a wide path around me, I stick out my chin and walk away with a smile. One man’s reaction to my Tourette Syndrome means nothing to me, but how I have grown to overcome it means everything. I have Tourette’s, and I tic, and sometimes I cannot control it. For me, however, it is not a barrier. It is a motivation to work harder. Like most people who have Tourette’s, I do not involuntarily swear (less than ten percent actually do), but I am proud to represent everyone no matter what form of the condition they have, I try to be a model of “Nothing is impossible to overcome!” When I see people look up to me, it makes me feel good to stand for what I believe in.

Last fall I auditioned for my high school musical, Young Frankenstein, In the past, I had been cast in mostly ensemble or minor roles, I assumed it was because the director thought my Tourette’s would be a distraction to the audience. I did not care that I was probably going to be given the same sized role as I had in prior years, I sang my heart out and acted to the point where I left my audition exhausted. Two days later, I was cast as the lead, Dr. Fronkensteen. My Tourette Syndrome was no longer an obstacle in my eyes. I have learned that when I am on stage, my tics disappear. I am a completely different person. I worked as hard as I could to get to this point, proving I can be an inspiration to others. When I work my heart out, I can beat any obstacle, especially if it is something preventing me from doing what I love.

In Spamalot a musical I performed in last summer, there is a song called “Find Your Grail.” It is about finding what a person desires to make him happy. I have found my grail: theatre. It is the aspect of my life that has had the most major impact on my development as a young adult. Theatre has taught me the importance of leadership, confidence, and commitment, and aided in developing my creativity and communication skills, It has helped me grow into my shoes by teaching me that being who I want to be is what matters; no one else’s opinion should affect how I think of myself.

Finding my grail has completely changed the way I look at the world. One moment I thought I knew myself, and the next, I realized that my grail was not at all what I thought it was, Maybe my grail is being who I want to be, Maybe it is truly being myself, knowing that every day, my Tourette’s is not a disability, but a motivation to work harder. I am proud to say I have Tourette Syndrome, and I am proud to call myself an individual. I am who I want to be. I am Alec.

2015 NJCTS Youth Scholarship Award Essay: “Defining Myself”

This is an anonymous essay submitted to the NJ Center for Tourette Syndrome & Associated Disorders (NJCTS) for their 2015 Children’s Scholarship Award contest. We hope you enjoy it!

As I think about my journey in life so far there is a central theme of determination that truly has identified who I am. Around the third grade I became distracted just trying to manage what seemed like ridiculous and annoying random movements. These daily distractions interrupted my life as a child and so after many months of medical tests, I was diagnosed with Tourette’s syndrome. The diagnosis gave me some answers and peace of mind yet I still struggled with many unanswered questions. I used to think that if I could just control the tics then I could get on with my life. However; it took medication and several types of therapy to help mask some of my tics. Sports were always a great distraction for me and became a stress releaser. I played just about any sport there was like travel soccer, baseball, lacrosse and eventually power lifting. While on the field I was free to be me and my opponents simply focused on the athlete in me and not necessarily the boy with Tourette’s. I have personally experienced the positive impact that sports can have on your confidence and sense of personal achievement. I have also witnessed the satisfaction and sense of accomplishment experienced through working as part of a team.

Furthermore, I have experienced roadblocks such as being asked to take study hall instead of wood shop and endured the brutality of bullying due to my condition. By the way, I took wood shop and earned an “A”. Fortunately, I have also always had the benefit of being part of a very close family which has motivated me to stand up for myself. They have continued to believe in me and encouraged me to be the best person that I can possibly be. I do not let difficulties stop me from succeeding, but accept the challenge to remain focused on my goals.

Staying focused on personal goals gives me purpose. I know that so much can be learned from sharing personal experiences with others. This gives us the insight to realize that even though we come from different backgrounds, origins or statuses that we all face many challenges. These challenges may not be obvious at first sight but they shape the people we have become. I know my perception of others has changed especially while working with special needs kids. Through the special needs soccer program I have experienced firsthand how a sense of accomplishment can brighten the face of a child. Each person has the ability to impact another person’s life and talents to share.

Finally, I think that having Tourette’s has made me even more determined to prove that I am so much more than a person with a condition. I am a person who sets goals and works tirelessly to reach those goals. I know that hard work and passion are what defines me. I will continue to follow my path to discover my destiny.

2015 NJCTS Youth Scholarship Award Essay: “The Climb”

This is the essay I submitted to the NJ Center for Tourette Syndrome & Associated Disorders (NJCTS) for their 2015 Children’s Scholarship Award contest. I hope you enjoy it!



l’m sitting in class and it is completely silent. l’m terrified of silence. I get an urge, an urge so powerful that I can physically feel it traveling through my body. My heart is pounding as I tell myself, “Don’t do it. Don’t do it.” But I have no control. The sound comes out loud and clear. The next thing I hear is giggling, snickering, mocking. I look around and I see cruel eyes glaring at me, burning holes in my skin. I feel like a bug under a microscope. I have Tourette Syndrome.

I’ve always thought of school as a battle ground; a place full of people who just don’t understand. Weekday mornings were always a struggle. I didn’t want to go to school. I didn’t want to feel inferior. I barely even understood my condition. All I knew was that I make noises and movements that were unwanted, and everybody found them funny; but I didn’t find them funny. Every insult, dirty look, and whisper knocked me down a little more, to the point where I couldn’t stick up for myself because the bullies stole my last bit of self-esteem. For once, I wanted to fit in, to not be the oddball, to be respected, to be understood. Most of all, to be accepted. Obviously, these wishes weren’t just going to be handed over, that’s unfortunately not how the world works. My family and I wanted things to be different; but we would have to make the difference ourselves.

I decided, as a terrified ten year old, to educate the whole school on my condition. lt was something I never thought I could do, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Each class watched a movie explaining Tourette Syndrome, and then I went in and answered questions that they had. Standing up in front of the first class, I had never been so nervous in my life. But as the day went on, it got a little easier. I could feel confidence growing in me again. I could feel that fire; the fire that was put out by the people who I once feared.

In just one day, I went from being taunted, to being admired. people are actually more accepting than I could have ever imagined. The world is brighter than I ever thought it could be. That day was so successful that I’ve done the same presentation all throughout middle school and high school. I now have thicker skin, self confidence, and an amazing support system. I walk through school with my head held high; which is a complete revolution from staring at my feet when I walk.

It has been said that many kids with Tourette’s are musically inclined. It was in sixth grade that I finally had the confidence to be in talent shows. I remember being so nervous about the possibility of having a tic on stage, but it was the exact opposite. As soon as I opened my mouth and sang, all of the tics went away. lt was like magic. Those three minutes of “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus showed everyone, including myself, that I am more than just a girl with Tourette Syndrome” I am a senior in high school now and I still haven’t stopped singing. I went from being “the girl with Tourette’s” to “the singer”. lt was a dream come true.

Although having Tourette’s isn’t easy, l wouldn’t change it. I no longer see it as a flaw, it makes me, me. I realized that it’s not the nightmare that I thought it was. It really has shaped me into the person I am today. When a new problem arises in my life, it’s easier to handle because I’ve already faced and conquered my biggest obstacle. I have finally accepted that my Tourette’s is a part of me. However, it isn’t all of me; because I have Tourette’s but Tourette’s doesn’t have me.