“I just don’t like people.”
I have said this phrase before. I am going to let you in on a secret.
IT IS A LIE!
I mentioned in my previous post that some things can be good, even great, for you mentally and physically, but some of us can allow some of these things to become unhealthy. Today, I have been contemplating one of the things that I personally tend to take too far and allow to become unhealthy in my life.
See, every Sunday I wake up, put myself together, and make a 20-minute drive to attend church. Once I walk into the building, I extend quick greetings in the form of a ‘hello’ or ‘how are you’ to the many acquaintances, chat with the small handful of people I personally know, and take a seat.
Yesterday was very different for me, however. See, my fiancé is on the music team at our church. Quite often they team gets together bright and early to have breakfast together before heading to the church to practice a bit before they play for the worship services. Yesterday, I woke up bright and early to join the goofy crew, or shall I say dark and early considering it was four o’clock in the morning and not a hint of daylight was to be found. Jacob and I met up with the group, where we all stuffed our faces with what felt more like a midnight snack than breakfast.
After our super early breakfast, we headed to the church where I hung out in what I believe is sometimes called the ‘green room’ or ‘volunteer center’, working on a blanket I am crocheting while the band practiced and during the first service. Throughout the morning we laughing so hard. We shared stories and jokes and picked on each other.
It would be an understatement to say that I had a blast! It was great to be able to get out of my own little world, break off the shell I wear pretty much daily, and interact with a great group of people. I allowed myself to be social. Ultimately, at the end of the day, I felt like I had been allowed to be involved and included in something. I wasn’t simply ‘going to church’, but I was actually experiencing something that I have so desperately missed.
Quiet, alone time can be a good thing. After a long, hard, tiring week or work and the fifty other things that we have to try and cram into our schedules as individuals who make up a society, it is good to take some time out for ourselves, recuperate, and reload of all the energy we have somehow lost in the midst of all the chaos. ’Me time’ is a good thing! The problem is when we turn the good thing into something really unhealthy.
Naturally, I am an introvert. I don’t put myself out there a lot. I am extremely shy and reserved around people I do not know well. Once I get comfortable in an environment, however, my alter ego comes out. I become an extrovert. I laugh and cut up and have a good time.
I require a good, generous amount of ‘me time’ so that I do not get burnt out and zapped of all social energy. It is extremely easy for me to turn needing a generous amount of ‘me time’ into becoming an antisocial hobbit, though. I tend to take too much ‘me time’ and begin isolating myself and do not allow myself to get out of my bubble and my own little world and socialize with other human beings. ‘Me time’ becomes unhealthy.
My depression feeds on isolation. We begin a domino effect when we isolate. The more we isolate ourselves, the more we feel alone. The more we feel alone, the more depressed we become. As humans, we need interaction with other humans. I mean, if you’ll read the second chapter of Genesis in the Bible, you will see that God created Adam, and then He created Eve because “It is not good for man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18 NLV)
It’s not good for us to be alone. It is good to get some quiet time to ourselves where we can regain our energy. Even then, though, we are not truly alone. We need each other. We need to interact with other people to strengthen us. We need to be able to lift each other up, encourage each other and let each other know that we are not alone. We are not alone in our struggles. We are not alone in the things we face daily.
I created this blog because isolation and feeling alone is something that the parasite called depression feeds on. I chose to openly admit and talk about the things I have struggled with and the things I struggle with now because I absolutely hate the thought of another human being going through the same things and feeling like they are alone. If you are reading this, I want you to know that you are not alone.
You are not alone in your struggles. You are not alone in your battles. You are not alone in this great big world. It may seem that way at times, but it simply is not true.
My mission is to help others realize that they are not alone, but I have allowed myself to sit back and become isolated enough to feel alone at times. So, if you tend to isolate and feel alone…
You are not alone. You are not the only one who does this.
Stay Safe, Stay Strong, Stay Beautifully Imperfect. Bye!